top of page
Search

Stuck in the Wrong Relationship: Why Fear of Loss Keeps You from Leaving

You might think being stuck in the wrong relationship would be obvious, but it’s often the quiet, creeping feelings that give it away. You don’t need blazing rows or dramatic walkouts to feel off-track. Sometimes, it’s just the low hum of discontent that slowly wears you down.


stuck in the wrong relationship looking for answers

You Feel More Drained Than Energised


Relationships should lift you, not leave you feeling like you’ve run a marathon in wet socks. If you're constantly tired, emotionally flat, or walking on eggshells just to keep the peace, that's a red flag waving in your emotional rear-view mirror. You might find yourself cancelling plans, avoiding deep conversations, or even daydreaming about life on your own, not because you don’t care, but because you’re tired of caring alone.


You Keep Hoping They’ll Change


Here’s the truth. Hoping someone will change while staying exactly the same yourself, usually ends in disappointment. It’s not your job to mould your partner into who you wish they’d become. If you find yourself saying, "I feel trapped in my relationship, but I love him," you’re not alone. Love is powerful, but it’s not always enough if it’s built on potential rather than reality.


You deserve to be loved for who you are, not for how much patience you can offer or how much you're willing to shrink to keep things going.


You’re Questioning Your Worth


One of the clearest signs of feeling trapped in a relationship is when your self-esteem takes a hit. You might start doubting your own value, blaming yourself for their moods, or thinking you're just too sensitive. It’s a slippery slope. A healthy relationship should help you grow, not make you wonder if you’re too much, or not enough.


When you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, the signs don’t always shout. They whisper. But if something inside you keeps nudging, “This isn’t right,” don’t ignore it. That inner voice isn’t being dramatic. It’s being honest.


stuck in the wrong relationship

Why We Stay Stuck in the Wrong Relationship: The Psychology Behind Feeling Trapped


You might know in your gut that something’s off, but somehow you still stay. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. When you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, logic often takes a backseat while emotions do all the driving and let’s be honest, they don’t always follow the satnav.


It’s Not Just About Love, It’s About Fear


Fear is one of the biggest reasons we stay put. Fear of being alone. Fear of starting over. Fear of making the wrong choice and regretting it later. And let’s not forget the good old fear of what other people will say. You might even tell yourself, "It’s not that bad," just to avoid the pain of change.


Then there’s guilt, especially if your partner isn't all bad. Maybe they’re kind one moment and cold the next, and you cling to the kindness because it gives you hope. That flicker of hope can be powerful, but sometimes it keeps you stuck in a cycle that’s quietly breaking your spirit.


The Weight of Shared History and ‘What Ifs’


You’ve built a life together, shared memories, maybe even a home, pets, or kids. That emotional investment can feel like an anchor, not just a connection. And the more you’ve given, the harder it feels to walk away without losing part of yourself in the process.


You start wondering, “What if things get better?” or “What if I’m overreacting?” And if you’re in the thick of being trapped in relationship depression, even small decisions can feel impossible. It’s not weakness, it’s the brain trying to protect you from more pain.


But here’s the twist: staying in a relationship that drains you doesn’t save you from pain. It just spreads it out over time.


stuck in the wrong relationship and questioning your worth

How to Reclaim Your Voice and Start Getting Unstuck


When you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, your voice often gets lost. Not because someone took it, but because you stopped using it. It’s like slowly turning down the volume on yourself until you barely hear your own needs anymore.


But here’s the good news. You can turn the volume back up. You haven’t lost yourself; you’ve just gone quiet for a while.


Start Small when Stuck in the Wrong Relationship: Choose Yourself Again


Getting unstuck doesn’t have to mean a grand exit or dramatic life overhaul. It starts with tiny, brave decisions. You might begin by simply noticing what you want again.

  • What brings you joy?

  • What drains you?

  • What are you always compromising on?


You’re allowed to prioritise your peace. And no, that’s not selfish, it’s smart.


Set Boundaries and Speak Honestly


Setting boundaries might sound intimidating, but it’s really about drawing lines that protect your well-being, not about building walls. You don’t have to be loud or confrontational to be clear. Saying, “This doesn’t work for me,” is more powerful than it seems.


And here’s the trick. Once you start honouring your truth, you’ll feel less stuck and more stable. You might have tough conversations. You might hear things you didn’t want to. But you’ll also start breathing again.


Whether it’s through journaling, therapy, coaching, or simply talking to a trusted friend, you don’t have to figure this out alone.


When you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, the next step isn’t always obvious. But it doesn’t need to be. Just take the one you can see. That’s how every journey begins, one small, steady step at a time.


stuck in the wrong relationship and wanting to escape

When It’s Time to Let Go: Finding Peace in the Exit


Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve finally listened to yourself. And that, my friend, is progress. When you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, peace often becomes the price you pay to keep things “together.” But what if letting go is actually what sets you free?


Staying Feels Heavier Than Leaving


You wake up each day hoping something will change, but it never quite does. You’ve tried talking, compromising, waiting, and wishing. But deep down, something still feels off. One of the biggest signs you’re stuck in the wrong relationship is when the idea of leaving brings relief instead of fear.


You might feel guilty about it. That’s normal. But guilt isn’t a reason to stay. It’s just a sign that you care. And caring doesn't mean you have to stay where you're not thriving.


Endings Aren’t Failures, They’re Turning Points


So many people stay because they think leaving is giving up. But actually, it’s choosing yourself. Often for the first time in a long time. Yes, it’ll hurt. Yes, it’ll be scary. But you’re not just walking away. You’re walking towards something better.


Even if you don’t know what the future holds, you’ll be stepping into it with your whole self. That’s a win.


You’re Not Breaking Something, You’re Breaking Free


Here’s a powerful thought: you’re not destroying a relationship; you’re rescuing your sense of self. And that’s worth everything. It takes strength to say, “This isn’t enough for me anymore.” But every time you choose honesty over habit, you reclaim a bit of your life.


Leaving isn’t the end of your story. It’s the start of a new chapter that’s written with your voice, your values, and your vision.

FAQs


Why am I stuck in a bad relationship?

You’re likely stuck because fear, guilt, or hope are outweighing your sense of self-worth. It’s not weakness, it’s human. You’ve invested emotionally, and leaving feels uncertain. But remember, staying unhappy isn’t loyalty, it’s self-neglect. You deserve peace, not just persistence.

How to fix a relationship after constant fighting?

Can a bad relationship ruin you?

When to call it quits?


 
 
 

Comentarios


InfidelityLogoWebBanner-ezgif 2.png

I am Luke Shillings, a Relationship and Infidelity Coach dedicated to guiding individuals through the complexities of infidelity. As a certified coach, I specialise in offering compassionate support and effective strategies for recovery.

  • TikTok
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram

Luke Shillings Life Coaching

Waddington, Lincoln, UK

Stay connected and informed with my weekly newsletter.

A treasure trove of insights and strategies to effectively handle infidelity. Sign up now and embark on a journey of healing and empowerment, delivered straight to your inbox.

© Luke Shillings -All Copyrights Reserved 2024

bottom of page