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Luke Shillings, Relationship and Infidelity Recovery Coach, Journaling, Outdoors, Looking Happy and Hopeful.
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Process, Decide & Move Forward On Purpose after Infidelity

When trust in a relationship is broken, it can be one of the most life-altering, painful, and isolating times in a person's life.


Whether you decide to stay or leave, there's no need to go it alone.

Your Infidelity Recovery BEGINS HERE

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Let's Talk... Book your free call here


Let's talk ...

A free 30 min, no obligation call to discover more. Calls over Zoom


Those who are Paralysed by Betrayal...


  • "I can't believe they betrayed me"

  • "I can't fix this"

  • "I don't know what happens next."

  • "I can't focus at work"

  • "I thought we were a team"

  • "I've failed"


  • Resentment

  • Tired

  • Anger

  • Frustration

  • Undervalued

  • Shame

  • Fear


  • Snapping at the kids

  • Complaining to friends​


  • Over drinking or Over eating


  • Little patience with myself or others

  • Ignore problems and hope they just go away


  • Not spending quality time with friends or loved ones

  • Struggling to communicate with my partner

  • Not looking after myself

  • Spiralling out of control

Those who complete the 
On Purpose Coaching Program 
can expect to...


  • "I'm not defined by my actions"

  • "I can fix anything!"

  • "I'm so proud of my myself"

  • "I always have my own back"

  • "I've already won, lets continue the journey"


  • Joy

  • Confident

  • Trusting

  • Love

  • Motivated

  • Peaceful

  • Forgiving

  • Compassionate


  • Communicate with ease

  • Laugh with friends​


  • Eat well and still enjoy a treat


  • Be understanding and patient with others

  • Overcome obstacles and thrive


  • Create a solid future for myself 

  • Let one chapter to close and a new one to begin

  • Put myself first, from which all my relationships will benefit 

  • Have clear boundaries and confidence in my relationships 

It's truly possible to go 


​Doubting yourself 


Stressed & Anxious

Feeling Tense & Criticised

Agitated & Chaotic


Resentful & Afraid


Unforgiving & Vengeful


Distrustful & paranoid 


Confident & Assured


Relaxed & Calm

Safe & Self Praise

Calm & Predictable

Reflective & Compassionate

Accepting & Understanding

Taking one step at a time

Forgiving and at peace


Trusting & Certain 

"Don't just take my word for it"


Luke has helped me immensely in managing my infidelity trauma. He brings a fresh perspective and one that I've found to be very impactful. I can't put a price on the value of his program because it's allowed me to break free of the up and down emotional cycles that were putting my marriage in jeopardy. I'd recommend Luke's coaching program without hesitation to anyone dealing with infidelity trauma.


Here's what to expect in the
On Purpose Coaching Program

Weekly 45 minute 1-ON-1 calls

Option to record our sessions

24/7 email access & regular accountability nudges

Optional worksheets tailored to your needs

Let's craft your future together ... book your 30 min call to find out how


"Here is what others have said"

“I fell into a dark place in my life when I found out my spouse of eight years was having an affair. I was lost, angry, vengeful;  you name the emotion, I was going through it. I struggled with all these emotions going through my mind and didn`t know how to handle it. I stumbled on a podcast by Luke that offered a different perspective on an affair, so I thought to reach out to him; it was the best decision I ever made. In addition to helping me get unstuck from my funk, he helped me see things differently.

I left a much better person. Ironically, I now see the affair to be one of the best things that ever happened to me because it opened my eyes to lots of other things about me that I didn’t know about myself. Even though I chose not to stay in the relationship, I am happier, a much better father and co-parenting partner with my ex. I like Luke’s approach to coaching because it focused on my development as a person and not so much on the affair itself. If you want to learn skills to help you be at peace with yourself, seek out Luke”


"When I found Luke, I was completely consumed by the aftermath of my husband’s affair. I had been happily married for 25 years and the affair came to me as

a complete shock.

I spent all of my time bouncing between the feelings of anger, uncertainty, disbelief, fear, and grief. I was stuck, and the therapist I started seeing wasn’t giving me the tools I needed to move forward in my healing process.

Luke made sure we focused on what I wanted to work on in my time with him. He was able to give me the tools I needed to deal with the intense emotions I was experiencing, and he also helped me to look at almost everything that happened from a different perspective. I loved how he gave me weekly re-caps from our sessions so I could easily revisit his suggestions and observations when I was losing focus. 
Luke was also very encouraging when I felt like I wasn’t making the
progress I thought I should be.

I now feel confident in myself and my ability to heal from the nightmare of infidelity."


"When I suddenly became aware of my wife’s infidelity, I quickly realized that I needed someone to help me deal with it. I tried talking to a couple of friends, but they weren't all that helpful. I was having a lot of trouble, I couldn't sleep well, I had trouble working, and I was a mess initially. Luckily, I ran across Luke and am quite happy I made the decision to have him help me.


I needed clarity to make some very important decisions, one of which was whether I could deal with my wife’s infidelity, or should I divorce her.  Luke was able to successfully help me navigate a very tough journey; he helped me see things from a fresh perspective and learn how to deal with a reality that I was forced to have to come to terms with. Luke helped me "get off the fence". He then helped me move forward through the very emotional part of the divorce process.


I believe I got through it much faster, less painfully than what would have happened without his help. I would certainly recommend him to others dealing with infidelity."


Luke Shillings - Relationship & Infidelity Recovery Coach, Walking Outdoors, Confindent, Healed

Hi, I'm Luke, and we might just have a few things in common.

I'm a 40-something father of two, and running, problem-solving, and creating things are part of who I am. I'm also a relationship coach & podcast host specialising in infidelity recovery.

Life rarely goes as intended. Just a few years ago, I had a seemingly perfect marriage—content, in love, and raising a beautiful family. But everything changed when my wife cheated. I lost my home, no longer lived with my children, and the security of my job wasn’t what it was.


During this painful time, I deepened my existing interest in human psychology, searching for answers to questions like, ‘Why do people do what they do?’ I rebuilt my life, healing from the pain of infidelity and finding inner strength. Now, as a certified relationship coach, I'm dedicated to helping others on their recovery journeys.


Whether you're a betrayed partner seeking support, a spouse grappling with guilt, or someone rebuilding your life after infidelity, I provide a nonjudgmental space, practical tools, and powerful coaching. Together, we'll navigate emotions, rebuild trust, and create a future aligned with your values.


Take the first step towards reclaiming your life. Healing is possible, and I'm living proof, and I’m here to support you.


Remember, you're not alone.




  • Professional Certified Coach - The Life Coach School

  • CPD Life Coach - (Level 7 Diploma)

  • QPR Gatekeeper Suicide Prevention Certificate

  • Trauma-Informed Coach - The Centre for Healing 

  • What is infidelity recovery coaching?
    Infidelity recovery coaching provides guidance, support, and strategies to help you navigate the aftermath of betrayal. It offers a structured approach to healing, rebuilding trust, and fostering healthier relationships in the future. Coaching sessions can look slightly different for each individual to suit the specific needs at your stage of healing. 1:1 coaching is not a 'One-size-fits-all" solution, but instead is customised carefully to meet your needs.
  • Who is the On Purpose coaching program for?
    The coaching program caters to anyone who has experienced betrayal. Whether you are dealing with an affair that happened decades ago, or you learned about it in the last few hours, you are in the right place. Working with the unfaithful or the betrayed, my program can help you look forward to seeing an awful situation with more clarity. I'll show you how to make progress by delving deep into the following attributes: Open-Mindedness Commitment Responsibility Personal Growth Vulnerability Finding Clarity Proactivity Accountability Respect Honesty Patience Investment Not everybody arrives at their first coaching session with all of these attributes securely in place. However, if you are willing to let me help you master this list, you will likely be a great fit for the program and you'll become the kind of person you want to be.
  • How long do your coaching programs last?
    The most popular program length is 3 months. This includes 1 x 90 minute strategy/objectives deep dive session followed by 12 x 45 minute weekly sessions. There is also a 6 month option. The length depends on your specific needs, goals, and desired depth of engagement.
  • Do I need to be in a relationship to benefit from your coaching?
    No, the coaching is beneficial regardless of your current relationship status. We will focus on personal healing, growth, and developing healthy boundaries which will benefit every area of your life whether you are still in the relationship that the betrayal occurred or not.
  • Do you offer any group sessions or is everything one-on-one?
    Currently, I'm only offering 1:1 sessions however group coaching options will be added in the near future.
  • How does coaching differ from traditional therapy?
    While therapy often focuses on healing past traumas and addressing psychological issues, coaching is action-oriented and looks forward to creating positive change. It's about setting goals, creating outcomes, and managing personal change. In the coaching sessions, I will help you see why you behave and feel the way you do by providing insight and tools you can take away and apply to your daily life, no matter the situation.
  • How can I get started?
    The best way to get started is to book a 'Let's Talk' discovery call where we'll discuss your specific needs and recommend the best program or service tailored for you. You can do that here ... Not ready to talk? I get it, talking to a stranger over a Zoom call can be very unnerving. By clicking the floating button in the bottom right hand corner of your screen you can message me via Online Chat or WhatsApp. I'll reply as quickly as I can.
  • Are you the right coach for me?
    It's a great question, and one I recommend you consider seriously. It's crucial that a coaching and client relationship is a good fit, that's why I provide a 'Let's talk' discovery call. Things you might want to consider is my experience, my coaching style, testimonials, and most importantly, how comfortable you feel when we talk. I can and will let you know if I think we are a good fit, it doesn't benefit either of us should we not be. If you are still unsure, take a listen to a few of my podcast episodes, I promise you'll find them valuable and it's also a great way to get to know me a little better from the safety of your headphones! You can take a listen here ...
  • I don't live in the UK, can I still work with you?
    Yes. All session are conducted over Zoom and as long as you have an internet connection and a device (phone, tablet, laptop, desktop) then we are good to go. I work with people in the US and in Europe and I always aim to work around time zone differences.
  • Is everything discussed confidential?
    Absolutely! Confidentiality is paramount in coaching. Everything discussed remains between yourself and me, ensuring a safe and trusting environment.
  • How long are the coaching sessions?
    The initial discovery call is 30 minutes - This is Free of charge and no obligation to commit. Our first coaching call is 90 minutes - This is to set the objectives for our time together plus get a clearer understanding of your current situation. We'll aim to get a picture of where you are at, and where you want to be. All remaining calls are 45 minutes - This is the optimum length for most sessions. Long enough to focus in detail on the specifics, not so long that it becomes overwhelming. Just the right balance.
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