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If you're reading this, chances are you're going through one of the toughest experiences of your life. The shock and pain of infidelity can shake you to your core, leaving you with questions like, "How did this happen to me?" and "What do I do now?" Fulfilling relationship support is here. I'm Luke Shillings, your guide on this journey of healing and recovery.

Let's make it happen. What's next?

Discussing an affair requires care and understanding. As your coach, I ensure a safe, neutral space. In the complimentary 'Discovery Call', we'll spend 30 minutes in a no-pressure conversation, unlocking valuable insights together.


Begin a journey to a more positive you after infidelity

Get rid of negative thoughts, emotions & words. Live a life without regrets & uncertainty. 



  • I can't believe they betrayed me

  • I can't fix this

  • I don't know what happens next

  • I can't focus at work

  • I thought we were a team

  • I've failed


  • Resentment

  • Tired

  • Anger

  • Frustration

  • Undervalued

  • Shame

  • Fear


  • Snapping at the kids

  • Complaining to friends

  • Over drinking or over eating

  • Little patience with myself or others

  • Ignore problems and hope they just go away


  • Not spending quality time with friends or loved ones

  • Struggling to communicate with my partner

  • Not looking after myself

  • Spiralling out of control



  • I'm not defined by my actions

  • I can fix anything!

  • I'm so proud of my myself

  • I always have my own back

  • I've already won, lets continue the journey


  • Joy

  • Confident

  • Trusting

  • Love

  • Motivated

  • Peaceful

  • Forgiving

  • Compassionate


  • Communicate with ease

  • Laugh with friends

  • Eat well and still enjoy a treat

  • Be understanding and patient with others

  • Overcome obstacles and thrive


  • Create a solid future for myself

  • Let one chapter close and a new one to begin

  • Put myself first, from which all my relationships will benefit

  • Have clear boundaries and confidence in my relationships  

It's truly possible!

It's entirely possible to evolve from self-doubt, stress, self-criticism, chaos, fear and resentment to a state of confidence, self-compassion,  understanding and tranquillity, leading to a more fulfilling life.

Betrayed & broken? So were these people before we met...

Here's what to expect in the On Purpose Coaching Program

Weekly 45 minute 1-ON-1  calls

Option to record our  sessions

24/7 email access &
regular accountability

Optional worksheets
tailored to your needs

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Hi, I’m Luke, and we might just have a few things in common.

I'm a 40-something father of two, with passions that include running, tackling challenges, and bringing new ideas to life. Additionally, I guide others as a relationship coach and host a podcast, focusing on navigating the path to recovery after infidelity.

Life rarely goes as intended. Just a few years ago, I had a seemingly perfect marriage—content, in love, and raising a beautiful family. But everything changed when my wife cheated. I lost my home, no longer lived with my children, and the security of my job wasn’t what it was.

During this painful time, I deepened my existing interest in human psychology, searching for answers to questions like, ‘Why do people do what they do?’ I rebuilt my life, healing from the pain of infidelity and finding inner strength. Now, as a certified relationship coach, I'm dedicated to helping others on their recovery journeys.

Whether you're a betrayed partner seeking support, a spouse grappling with guilt, or someone rebuilding your life after infidelity, I provide a nonjudgmental space, practical tools, and powerful coaching. Together, we'll navigate emotions, rebuild trust, and create a future aligned with your values.

Take the first step towards reclaiming your life. Healing is possible, I'm living proof, and I’m here to support you.
Remember, you're not alone.



The "After the Affair" podcast offers  transformative insights and practical strategies for  those dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. With  compassion and empathy, it provides a safe space  to explore emotions, rebuild trust, and support  healing.
Thought provoking concepts, discussions and  expert interviews, it aims to provide guidance on  forgiveness, communication, and rebuilding intimacy. Join me in the latest episode

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Here Is What Others Have Said

Don't just take my word for it –learn about those who've walked this path with me and let their journeys inspire your own. My clients' experiences speak volumes about the journey and transformation they've undergone.

“I fell into a dark place in my life when I found out my spouse of eight years was having an affair. I was lost, angry, vengeful;  you name the emotion, I was going through it. I struggled with all these emotions going through my mind and didn`t know how to handle it. I stumbled on a podcast by Luke that offered a different perspective on an affair, so I thought to reach out to him; it was the best decision I ever made. In addition to helping me get unstuck from my funk, he helped me see things differently.

I left a much better person. Ironically, I now see the affair to be one of the best things that ever happened to me because it opened my eyes to lots of other things about me that I didn’t know about myself. Even though I chose not to stay in the relationship, I am happier, a much better father and co-parenting partner with my ex. I like Luke’s approach to coaching because it focused on my development as a person and not so much on the affair itself. If you want to learn skills to help you be at peace with yourself, seek out Luke”




Recent Episodes

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Episode 78

A Story of Betrayal: No Place Like Home

Dive deep into the heart of healing with 'A Story of Betrayal: No Place Like Home,' a poignant episode of the 'After the Affair' podcast.

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Episode 77

The Intricate Dance Between People Pleasing and Infidelity

Join me, Luke Shillings, whilst I unpick the intricate dance between people-pleasing tendencies and the aftermath of infidelity.

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  • Professional Certified Coach - The Life Coach School

  • CPD Life Coach - (Level 7 Diploma)

  • QPR Gatekeeper Suicide Prevention Certificate

  • Trauma-Informed Coach - The Centre for Healing 

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  • What is infidelity recovery coaching?
    Infidelity recovery coaching provides guidance, support, and strategies to help you navigate the aftermath of betrayal. It offers a structured approach to healing, rebuilding trust, and fostering healthier relationships in the future. Coaching sessions can look slightly different for each individual to suit the specific needs at your stage of healing. 1:1 coaching is not a 'One-size-fits-all" solution, but instead is customised carefully to meet your needs.
  • Who is the On Purpose coaching program for?
    The coaching program caters to anyone who has experienced betrayal. Whether you are dealing with an affair that happened decades ago, or you learned about it in the last few hours, you are in the right place. Working with the unfaithful or the betrayed, my program can help you look forward to seeing an awful situation with more clarity. I'll show you how to make progress by delving deep into the following attributes: Open-Mindedness Commitment Responsibility Personal Growth Vulnerability Finding Clarity Proactivity Accountability Respect Honesty Patience Investment Not everybody arrives at their first coaching session with all of these attributes securely in place. However, if you are willing to let me help you master this list, you will likely be a great fit for the program and you'll become the kind of person you want to be.
  • How long do your coaching programs last?
    The most popular program length is 3 months. This includes 1 x 90 minute strategy/objectives deep dive session followed by 12 x 45 minute weekly sessions. There is also a 6 month option. The length depends on your specific needs, goals, and desired depth of engagement.
  • Do I need to be in a relationship to benefit from your coaching?
    No, the coaching is beneficial regardless of your current relationship status. We will focus on personal healing, growth, and developing healthy boundaries which will benefit every area of your life whether you are still in the relationship that the betrayal occurred or not.
  • Do you offer any group sessions or is everything one-on-one?
    Currently, I'm only offering 1:1 sessions however group coaching options will be added in the near future.
  • How does coaching differ from traditional therapy?
    While therapy often focuses on healing past traumas and addressing psychological issues, coaching is action-oriented and looks forward to creating positive change. It's about setting goals, creating outcomes, and managing personal change. In the coaching sessions, I will help you see why you behave and feel the way you do by providing insight and tools you can take away and apply to your daily life, no matter the situation.
  • How can I get started?
    The best way to get started is to book a 'Let's Talk' discovery call where we'll discuss your specific needs and recommend the best program or service tailored for you. You can do that here ... Not ready to talk? I get it, talking to a stranger over a Zoom call can be very unnerving. By clicking the floating button in the bottom right hand corner of your screen you can message me via Online Chat or WhatsApp. I'll reply as quickly as I can.
  • Are you the right coach for me?
    It's a great question, and one I recommend you consider seriously. It's crucial that a coaching and client relationship is a good fit, that's why I provide a 'Let's talk' discovery call. Things you might want to consider is my experience, my coaching style, testimonials, and most importantly, how comfortable you feel when we talk. I can and will let you know if I think we are a good fit, it doesn't benefit either of us should we not be. If you are still unsure, take a listen to a few of my podcast episodes, I promise you'll find them valuable and it's also a great way to get to know me a little better from the safety of your headphones! You can take a listen here ...
  • I don't live in the UK, can I still work with you?
    Yes. All session are conducted over Zoom and as long as you have an internet connection and a device (phone, tablet, laptop, desktop) then we are good to go. I work with people in the US and in Europe and I always aim to work around time zone differences.
  • Is everything discussed confidential?
    Absolutely! Confidentiality is paramount in coaching. Everything discussed remains between yourself and me, ensuring a safe and trusting environment.
  • How long are the coaching sessions?
    The initial discovery call is 30 minutes - This is Free of charge and no obligation to commit. Our first coaching call is 90 minutes - This is to set the objectives for our time together plus get a clearer understanding of your current situation. We'll aim to get a picture of where you are at, and where you want to be. All remaining calls are 45 minutes - This is the optimum length for most sessions. Long enough to focus in detail on the specifics, not so long that it becomes overwhelming. Just the right balance.
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